What is taking so long?

The Sox and Mikey Lowell have been negotiating for like 2 weeks now. Why is it taking so long? This is my idea of what must be happening behind closed doors.

Mikey: I want 4 years.
Theo: We'll give you 3.
Mikey: But I want 4.
Theo: But we're offering you 3.
Mikey: But, don't you like me?
Theo: Yes, very much.
Mikey: Then give me 4 years!
Theo: We'd prefer to give you 3.
Mikey: You're not being nice.
Theo: Yes we are.
Mikey: No, you're not.
Theo: Yes we are.
Mikey: Nuh uh.
Theo: Yah huh.
Mikey: Meanie.
Theo: Do you wanna play on our team or not?
Mikey: Yeah.
Theo: Then stop calling me names.
Mikey: Then give me 4 years.
Theo: No.
Mikey: Yes.
Theo: Nope.
Mikey: Come on!
Theo: We'll give you 3.
Mikey: But I want 4.
Theo: We'll give you 3.
Mikey: You stink.
Theo: I know.
Mikey: What's one more year to you?
Theo: Well, what's it to you?
Mikey: I want to play for 4 years!
Theo: Well, what's it like to want?
Mikey: Come on. Just do it.
Theo: No
Mikey: You don't want me to sign with the Skankees, do you?
Theo: Why not? Look at how well that worked out for Johnny!
Mikey: That was a low blow.
Theo: I know.
Mikey: But seriously, I want 4 years.
Theo: We'll give you 3.
Mikey: You mean 4.
Theo: No, just 3.
Mikey: Pretty please?
Theo: No.
Mikey: Pretty please with sugar on top?
Theo: We'll give you 3, Mike. That's it.
Mikey: You're not being very nice.
Theo: It's not my job to be nice.
Mikey: But, I'm the World Series MVP!
Theo: Congratulations.
Mikey: That stands for Most Valuable Player!
Theo: Yes, I know what it stands for.
Mikey: Don't I deserve 4 years?
Theo: In 3 years, maybe we'll offer you another year.
Mikey: But why not save yourself the trouble and do it now.
Theo: We can't, Mike.
Mikey: Why not?
Theo: Because you're getting old, Mike.
Mikey: Ouch.
Theo: Sorry.
Mikey: You didn't need to point that out.
Theo: But, it's true.
Mikey: You really hurt my feelings, Theo.
Theo: I'm sorry, Mike.
Mikey: Sorry just won't cut it.
Theo: That's a shame.
Mikey: You could make it up to me by giving me 4 years.
Theo: We'll give you 3. Maybe we can throw in a few bottles of Just for Men haircolor.
Mikey: Really?
Theo: If it would help.
Mikey: That's tempting...
Theo: I thought it might be.
Mikey: How about 4 years plus the Just for Men.
Theo: We'll give you 3.
Mikey: Okay, 4 years and no Just for Men.
Theo: 3 years, Mike. That's it.
Mikey: I want 4 years.
Theo: We'll give you 3.
Mikey: 4.
Theo: 3.
Mikey: 4.
Theo: No.
Mikey: Dammit!