Saturday, March 17, 2007

Hottest Baseball Players: #1!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, it's the moment we've all been waiting for. I'm about to reveal the hottest baseball player of all! I should have chosen an Irish boy, since it's St. Patty's Day, but I chose a real Italian Stallion. In my opinion, he is the hottest man in baseball. Yes, even hotter than Joe Mauer, which is practically impossible.

Are you ready?

Drum roll please!

The hottest baseball player in the whole wide world is........

Todd Walker!!!

Todd's bounced around a lot. He began his career on as a Twin in 1996.
He stayed in Minnesota for four years, but his hot Italian ass probably hated all the snow.
Then he got sent to Colorado, and he probably hated the mountains, too.
Then he went to the Reds (hotness like that should NEVER be stuck in Ohio!).

Then, his luck changed. He got sent to the hottest city on the planet: Boston!!!!

He joined the Sox for their ill-fated 2003 season. Surviving a season like that was enough to earn Todd a permanent spot in the infield of my heart.

He plays 2nd base, but I'd wave him home any day of the week.

And that's why he made it all the way to number...

Eh, he's pretty enough that he doesn't need to have good counting skills.

Maybe a good poke will knock some sense into him?

Hey, Todd...

You're number 1!

Yeah, he's happy now.

Todd cleans up real nice.




Another thing Todd has going for him is that he's good friends with Nomar.
And what's good enough for Nomar is good enough for me.

So it's nice that they both ended up on the Cubbies together after leaving the Sox.

Todd knows exactly what to do in every situation on the field.

When a Yankee is down, kick him!

I kid, but Karim Garcia deserved a good kick in the head.
He's the guy who started the fight with the Sox grounds keeper...remember that? The bastard.

Todd can jump really high...

This is pretty amazing...

Especially when viewed from the side.
Note how nice his butt looks in the air...

Another nice view...

Todd probably didn't like being a Cub. Here he is, looking all sad...

Probably thinking of the good ole days in Boston.

Speaking of the good ole days...

Could he get any hotter?

You can tell he's got a lot on his mind...

He probably just needs a good Bostonian woman to take care of him.

He's really got the sexy brooding look down.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

He completes this look by riding off into the sunset (or, into traffic on Storrow Drive) on a bike...

I like this picture. It not only features glorious Todd, but you can see Grady Little and the hotness that is Jason Varitek in the background.

Todd's only season with the Sox ended in heartbreak, when the Yankees won game 7 of the ALCS in extra innings. Of course, the Yankees went on to lose the World Series, because they're little bitches.

Todd did his part to keep the Sox alive during the ALCS. Here he is, hitting a homer.

The day the Yanks won game 7 was the saddest day of the season.
Here's the 2nd saddest day...

...the day Todd Walker cleaned out his Red Sox locker, never to return.

But, never say never! I heard a rumor that the Sox might trade Wily Mo to the Padres for Todd Walker!!!!
If this happens, I will be the happiest girl in Boston.

Maybe we'll get to see more pics like this one. (It's my favorite.)

The end.

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Friday, March 16, 2007

Hottest Baseball Players: #2

Woah, we're getting close to number 1.
And number 2 is so hot that I can barely even handle it.
Seriously, I'm throwing the heat today.

The 2nd hottest baseball player is.......

Joe Mauer

You all probably thought he was gonna be number 1, right?
I must admit, it was a close call. Practically a coin toss.

I'm not gonna say much about Joe Mauer, because words don't do him any justice. The pics speak for themselves.

Have you ever seen baseball cards look this hot?

He's, like, the hottest thing ever (well, the 2nd hottest thing).

Oh, and he's really good at baseball!

He needs to stretch really well... he can do this...

(Tripping a Yankee = HOT)

and this...

(Tripping Frank Thomas = ouch! There's a reason they call him The Big Hurt!)

Did I mention that he's a really good hitter?

He's the 2006 batting champ.

He walks tall and carries a...

I'm really writing too much. Let's just gaze at him...


Here he is, just hanging.

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Hottest Baseball Players: #3

The 3rd hottest baseball player is.........

Jason Varitek

Captain of the Boston Red Sox

Jason is the soul of the Sox. That's why I love him so much.
But there may be some baseball goggles involved in the matter.
I'm really not sure.

Let's look at his many displays of hotness.

Here he's very young. And hot...

This is from 2001, I believe. Again, very hot.

This is his "come hither" stare.

Actually, it might be his "Come here, Grady Little, so I can beat yo' ass" stare.

Jason takes himself very seriously, but sometimes he likes to get down.
Here he is, teaching Jose Reyes how to breakdance.

Being an awesome catcher, no one ever takes him out.
I love it when he trips guys while covering the bag.
But this picture shows him doing something even better: taking out Jorge Posada!
Ha, take that, Po-sucka!

And here are some images from my very favorite love spat between Tek and A-Rod.

Tek's not afraid to mess up A-Rod's pretty purple lipstick.

The glove is love. : )

Tek was very happy after winning the World Series.
He's usually very quiet, but his thoughts came pouring out after that.


Here he is at the Victory Parade...

After celebrating, he got a much deserved pedicure...

And a makeover...


Then Tek was named team captain. Yay!

Here he is, getting his captain's uniform...

Tek may have thought that being captain gave him superpowers...

Or, maybe he's auditioning for Heroes.
Sorry, Tek. They already have flying men.

Here's a picture I took of Tek. Yup, I was this close to him!
I almost reached out and grabbed his buns...

(yup, I was.)

K-Mill knows how it is...

Varitek is Dice-K's favorite MLB player! He loves Tek so much that he carries his gear around for him. I kid you not! Read the caption...

Here he is, getting ready for his second career.

I love this picture. I think it's perfect to end on.
The captain, leading the troops into another season of battle.


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