The one hitter.

April 11th was Dice-K's big Fenway debut.

(It was also Tek's and Trot's birthday...happy b-day, boys!)

Unfortunately, Felix Hernandez stole Dice-K's thunder.

It started out innocently enough, with Dice-K and Ichiro exchanging pleasantries...




Dice-K got a little wild...



But he didn't hit anyone in the head.


Ichiro got a little crazy...



But he didn't hit Tek too hard.


Then those Mariners began getting hits off Dice-K.
It sucked.

Then this happened!



What the hell? That is an angle from which I have never seen Tek's butt.

While the Mariners were hitting Dice-K, the Sox were not hitting Felix Hernandez AT ALL!
Here are Felix and his catcher, Kenji, working on their game plan...




Dice-K was very sad that someone else was the star on what was supposed to be his big day...




Things got nasty when Youk got walked.
Adrian Beltre tried to kill him!



That punk Beltre used to be on my fantasy team, but I had to release him.
Nobody messes with my Youki and gets away with it! Nobody.

Then JD Drew went and spoiled everything (as he is wont to do)
and got the only hit Felix would throw that day.




But, Felix was still pretty happy when he got the last out.
He celebrated by shouting the same thing we all shout when we're happy...



Because they do, right?

The Sox are looking good!

It's finally baseball season, and the Sox are ready to do battle again.


Papelbon is happy to be closing again...




Beckett is ready to show us the size of his balls...




Tek is ready to lead the team and look damn hot while doing so...



Yum.


Schill is ready to take out Beckett, karate kid style.
(Sweep a leg! No mercy!)




Look-ee here. What the heck is Manny doing?
He's not being Manny, that's for sure....




He was planning to rob a bank after this game. 20 mill is just not enough.




Johnny looks like he's ready to kick some ass...




Oops, not that Johnny! Wrong picture. I meant this Johnny.



He's gonna be our pitch-hitting lefty.


Dice-K is learning one more pitch, just in case the gyroball thing doesn't fly...




Uh oh...he looks worried...




He must be looking at this nonsense...




Hey Dice-K! What are the Yanks gonna do this season?



That's right. They're gonna choke.

Hottest Baseball Players: #3

The 3rd hottest baseball player is.........


Jason Varitek

Captain of the Boston Red Sox


Jason is the soul of the Sox. That's why I love him so much.
But there may be some baseball goggles involved in the matter.
I'm really not sure.

Let's look at his many displays of hotness.

Here he's very young. And hot...




This is from 2001, I believe. Again, very hot.




This is his "come hither" stare.



Actually, it might be his "Come here, Grady Little, so I can beat yo' ass" stare.


Jason takes himself very seriously, but sometimes he likes to get down.
Here he is, teaching Jose Reyes how to breakdance.




Being an awesome catcher, no one ever takes him out.
I love it when he trips guys while covering the bag.
But this picture shows him doing something even better: taking out Jorge Posada!
Ha, take that, Po-sucka!




And here are some images from my very favorite love spat between Tek and A-Rod.




Tek's not afraid to mess up A-Rod's pretty purple lipstick.



The glove is love. : )


Tek was very happy after winning the World Series.
He's usually very quiet, but his thoughts came pouring out after that.

Observe...







Here he is at the Victory Parade...




After celebrating, he got a much deserved pedicure...




And a makeover...



Yum.


Then Tek was named team captain. Yay!




Here he is, getting his captain's uniform...




Tek may have thought that being captain gave him superpowers...



Or, maybe he's auditioning for Heroes.
Sorry, Tek. They already have flying men.


Here's a picture I took of Tek. Yup, I was this close to him!
I almost reached out and grabbed his buns...



(yup, I was.)


K-Mill knows how it is...




Varitek is Dice-K's favorite MLB player! He loves Tek so much that he carries his gear around for him. I kid you not! Read the caption...




Here he is, getting ready for his second career.




I love this picture. I think it's perfect to end on.
The captain, leading the troops into another season of battle.



Grrrrrr.