Schilling is practically perfect.

Many amazing things happened for the Sox during the last few days.

JD Drew showed us that he does know how to use his bat, but he usually chooses not to.

Dice-K showed us that he doesn't even know how to hold a bat, let alone swing it, and that he is very good at striking out.

And Tito showed us what he looks like when he's mad.

Really mad...

I swear, I saw him throw the eff bomb around a few times.


But most importantly, Schill proved that he is still the ace.



He would have pitched a perfect game, but Julio Lugo made an error, letting a guy get on base. It would be the only baserunner until the 9th inning, when the 28th batter got a hit, ending Schill's no-hit bid. Of course, if Lugo hadn't made the error and everything else had happened exactly the way it did, Schill wouldn't have faced that 28th batter, because he already would have gotten the final out of the game...a perfect game!




Of course, the fact still remains that Schill pitched a complete game, giving up only one hit and no walks. That's pretty damn impressive. I guess he's still got it!


Lugo, on the other hand, was in the dog house for his error.

The team made him stand in a corner for the rest of the game...



How embarrassing...



Although some people were betting against him,
Schill proved to everyone that he's still awesome.



Isn't Mike Lowell so cute?

Old and washed-up.

Is it time for Curt Schilling to retire?

He really got knocked around tonight.

Or, maybe he's still got the stuff, but his mind is elsewhere tonight...

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This season is off to an interesting start.
Let's take a look at the good, the bad, and all the rest.

The good news...

Schill can still pitch like an ace.



Apparently, his first terrible start was just a fluke.


And guess what!
Josh Beckett is shaping up to be the awesome pitcher we all knew he had the potential to be! Hooray!




The bad news...

People are starting to realize that JD Drew is not Trot Nixon. Even though he stands were Trot used to stand and wears Trot's old number, nobody is fooled. Trot would have never let hits get by him into the RF corner the way JD has so far.



But, at least JD has been hitting consistently.
Don't worry JD, I ain't mad atcha. You're just NOT TROT.


Papi has already started his slug-fest.
But here's where things start to get ugly...

Just what is Alex Cora doing to Papi?




The Papel-bomb is not impressed...




And Dice-K is suddenly realizing what the hell he's signed up for.

Poor kid.

Opening day wins are for suckers.

So, the Red Sox didn't win their opening day game yesterday. They were beaten by the lowly Kansas City Royals. All I have to say is, "THANK GOD." Because the Red Sox never win their opening day game. Last year was the only time they've won it in this century. And we don't want a repeat of last year, do we? So, it's a good thing that they lost. I don't want them to go changing anything. If they won today, it would have been akin to Manny showing up at spring training a week early, or Papi trying to bunt all the time. Plus, how many highlights are those Kansas City boys going to have in a season? Just a couple. And winning today was one of them. So, good for them! It was nice of the Red Sox to let KC have one measly day of glory.

Poor Schill. It just wasn't working for him today.
God must hate him or something.




But, let's focus on the good news of the day!
Trot Nixon had a great game!
He went 3 for 4, with a double, a walk, and scored 3 runs!



Of course, he hit those for Cleveland, not Boston.
Just for the sake of comparison, let's see how his replacement did today.
JD Drew (aka Nancy Drew) went 1 for 2 with a walk. Hmm. Not nearly as exciting. He's clearly not Trot.

Hanley Ramirez also had an amazing game. He went 4 for 6, with 2 doubles, 1 rbi, 4 runs, and 2 stolen bases. Too bad he's playing for Florida, not Boston. What did our new SS do today? Well, Lugo was 1 for 4. But I'm sure he's worth every penny of that 12 million per year.

Yippee!

The Sox are looking good!

It's finally baseball season, and the Sox are ready to do battle again.


Papelbon is happy to be closing again...




Beckett is ready to show us the size of his balls...




Tek is ready to lead the team and look damn hot while doing so...



Yum.


Schill is ready to take out Beckett, karate kid style.
(Sweep a leg! No mercy!)




Look-ee here. What the heck is Manny doing?
He's not being Manny, that's for sure....




He was planning to rob a bank after this game. 20 mill is just not enough.




Johnny looks like he's ready to kick some ass...




Oops, not that Johnny! Wrong picture. I meant this Johnny.



He's gonna be our pitch-hitting lefty.


Dice-K is learning one more pitch, just in case the gyroball thing doesn't fly...




Uh oh...he looks worried...




He must be looking at this nonsense...




Hey Dice-K! What are the Yanks gonna do this season?



That's right. They're gonna choke.

Which rookies would get my cookies?

I recently stumbled across some scans of Sox rookie cards. The pics are so hysterical that I have to share them. But, who wants to just post a bunch of pictures? Not me, dammit! So, I've come up with a fun little game. It's time to play the first round of "Which Rookies Would Get My Cookies?"

I'll start with the Starters.


Check out the 'stache on our ace!

Who does he think he is, Hitler?
Sorry, Curt. No cookies for you.


But look at Wake!

I hope that boy has a sweet tooth....


Uh oh, here comes trouble...

Dear lord, no.


Would I perhaps cement the deal with Clement?

Ummm...those ears might be hard to overlook.


And check out my boy-o Arroyo!

That's not even a picture! Sorry, cartoons don't get my cookies.


And to close things out...

No way. Not if he's gonna make a face like that!


Guess Tim's the only rookie who'd win in this round.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Which Rookie Would Get My Cookies?