Hottest Baseball Players: Honorable Mentions
There's a ton of hotness in the MLB.
Just ask Lee Mazzilli...sometimes he just can't help himself...
I found it impossible to narrow it down to just 10 playahs without feeling like I leaving some major cuteness stranded on base.
So, I'm gonna need to toss around a few honorable mentions.
The first honorable mention goes to............
Jose Reyes
Add this guy to your fantasy team, because he can do it all.
He can throw...
He can catch...
He can hit...
He can groom himself like a cat...
And he enjoys a good beer shower.
The second honorable mention goes to.......
Trot Nixon
"Huh?" you might be saying to yourself. "Trot's not hot!" And I tend to agree with that sentiment. However, Trot had the balls to have this picture of himself put on a baseball card, and for that, he deserves an award.
Behold Trot in all his glory...
If that's not hot, I don't know what is.
The third honorable mention goes to.....
Nomarrrr Garciiiiaaaaapaaaaarrrrrrrrraaaaaaa
(Don't you miss the sound of the Fenway announcer saying his name? Me, too.)
Nomar is only hot when being viewed from the front. Things fall apart from the side. So, it's a good thing that Sports Illustrated settled on a front view for this 2001 cover.
The fourth honorable mention goes to....
Kevin Youkilis, as I see him through my baseball goggles
Ooooooooookay. I know that Kevin Youkilis looks like this...
Not a pretty sight.
But, when I watch baseball, my vision and judgment often get clouded by what I can only refer to as my "baseball goggles". These are analogous to beer goggles, but do not require beer. When I see an ugly player do something hot, my judgment gets clouded, and suddenly the player becomes hot.
This happens more often than not when I watch Youk. Because he is, in fact, a damn good player. He gets on base, plays LF when Manny is being Manny (even though he's a 1st/3rd baseman), and hangs in there even when 2/3rd of the team are on the DL. He even gets clutch hits. So, even though Youk looks like the picture above, I see him through my baseball goggles as looking more like this...
It's true. I can only see Youk for who he really is during the off-season. Once baseball season begins, all bets are off, and I will become Youki's bitch.
The fifth honorable mention goes to....
Theo Epstein
Okay, Theo doesn't actually play baseball, BUT, as General Manager of the Red Sox,
he still manages to be one of the most important players in the game.
Therefore, I think he's eligible for an honorable mention.
And the final honorable mention goes to........
Tom Brady
"What?!" you're probably thinking to yourself.
"Tom Brady is a football player and baby daddy, not a baseball player!"
But, did you know that Tom was drafted in 1995 to play baseball for the Montreal Expos? Therefore, I consider him enough of a baseball player to be eligible for an honorable mention. And boy, he deserves it, because he's so hot.
Is there anything cuter than Tom Brady with puppies?
Just ask Lee Mazzilli...sometimes he just can't help himself...
I found it impossible to narrow it down to just 10 playahs without feeling like I leaving some major cuteness stranded on base.
So, I'm gonna need to toss around a few honorable mentions.
The first honorable mention goes to............
Jose Reyes
Add this guy to your fantasy team, because he can do it all.
He can throw...
He can catch...
He can hit...
He can groom himself like a cat...
And he enjoys a good beer shower.
The second honorable mention goes to.......
Trot Nixon
"Huh?" you might be saying to yourself. "Trot's not hot!" And I tend to agree with that sentiment. However, Trot had the balls to have this picture of himself put on a baseball card, and for that, he deserves an award.
Behold Trot in all his glory...
If that's not hot, I don't know what is.
The third honorable mention goes to.....
Nomarrrr Garciiiiaaaaapaaaaarrrrrrrrraaaaaaa
(Don't you miss the sound of the Fenway announcer saying his name? Me, too.)
Nomar is only hot when being viewed from the front. Things fall apart from the side. So, it's a good thing that Sports Illustrated settled on a front view for this 2001 cover.
The fourth honorable mention goes to....
Kevin Youkilis, as I see him through my baseball goggles
Ooooooooookay. I know that Kevin Youkilis looks like this...
Not a pretty sight.
But, when I watch baseball, my vision and judgment often get clouded by what I can only refer to as my "baseball goggles". These are analogous to beer goggles, but do not require beer. When I see an ugly player do something hot, my judgment gets clouded, and suddenly the player becomes hot.
This happens more often than not when I watch Youk. Because he is, in fact, a damn good player. He gets on base, plays LF when Manny is being Manny (even though he's a 1st/3rd baseman), and hangs in there even when 2/3rd of the team are on the DL. He even gets clutch hits. So, even though Youk looks like the picture above, I see him through my baseball goggles as looking more like this...
It's true. I can only see Youk for who he really is during the off-season. Once baseball season begins, all bets are off, and I will become Youki's bitch.
The fifth honorable mention goes to....
Theo Epstein
Okay, Theo doesn't actually play baseball, BUT, as General Manager of the Red Sox,
he still manages to be one of the most important players in the game.
Therefore, I think he's eligible for an honorable mention.
And the final honorable mention goes to........
Tom Brady
"What?!" you're probably thinking to yourself.
"Tom Brady is a football player and baby daddy, not a baseball player!"
But, did you know that Tom was drafted in 1995 to play baseball for the Montreal Expos? Therefore, I consider him enough of a baseball player to be eligible for an honorable mention. And boy, he deserves it, because he's so hot.
Is there anything cuter than Tom Brady with puppies?
Labels: baseball goggles, hottest baseball players, nomah, reyes, theo, tom brady, trot, youk
posted by Meg at 10:13 PM
2 Comments:
I can't believe you only gave Nomar honorable mention! The boy is hot with a sizzling sound... mmmmm yummy
He is, I know! He's one of my all-time favorite players. And he's a great guy, from what I've heard about him. He saved someone from drowning in Boston Harbor a couple years ago. He probably belongs on the list, but it was very quickly turning into the list of the hottest current and former Red Sox players. I tried to include a few non-Sox guys.
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